Wednesday, November 17, 2010

If I don't, I won't.....

Decisions have never come easy for me. Do I wear my purple shirt or my red tee? Blue jeans or sweats? Granted some decisions do come easier than others. Todays decision is more like deciding do I drive across the bridge or do I just stop and jump in (knowing I cannot swim)? I have had 4 months to make up my mind, educate myself and decide whether to try something new or not. Today was the day to answer, will I try or not? I mean to answer the docs questions YES, I hurt!, YES I am tired (all the time), Is my daily living affected? Seriously, its been sock pulls, dressing sticks, reachers and coat hangers (another future blog) for years.  YES my daily living is affected. DO I WANT TO MAKE AN ATTEMPT TO FEEL BETTER? Dumb question, easy answer. Hell yes I want to feel better.
For forty one years  rheumatoid arthritis has been taking its toll on my small frame and I am determined to stop ol arthur dead in his tracks! I have heard all the good and all the bad regarding modern day arthritis meds. If only I had a crystal ball.
I see this as a new chapter in my now many volumes of Life With RA...and I do mean Life, it has been 41 years and well I am 45 so yeah its been my life. Chapters on decisions include do I wake up? Do I get up? Do I move about? Do I date? Do I have kids? Do I play taxi mom? Do I go to work?  Do I have surgery, etc, etc and the answers have usually been yes, simply because if I don't, I won't....meaning if I don't move, I may never again someday. If I dont have surgery, I will be facing total immobility. If I dont try this med, I may never know so...come Friday, pending all lab tests I will be adding a new drug to my cabinet ( actually refrigerator ).

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